An update...

Wow! I cannot believe it's been almost 5 months since I last posted. My apologies to those of you who follow our blog. I will try to do a better job in the upcoming weeks/months. Here's a brief update.

March was simply full of clinical hours and school assignments. Nothing major to share, except that I absolutely loved all of my clinical rotations. I was finishing up my general surgery rotation and starting my Nephrology/Renal rotation. Overall... a great month!

April was a sad month. On Saturday, the 9th, our phone rang about 1145 pm. Jason & I were in bed asleep. Awakened suddenly, I instantly got a bad feeling in my stomach. Phone calls late at night are usually a "wrong number" or "bad news". Unfortunately, this phone call brought us devastating news. It was my mother calling to inform us that my cousin, Nick Phillips, had died suddenly that evening. My heart dropped! This couldn't be happening!

Many of you attended Nick's Memorial Service. However, for those of you who could not attend, here's a brief version of what I shared that evening.

Nick was almost three years old when I was born. He was the first -born son of Greg and Terri, the first grandchild of Gerald and Nadene, Peggy, Jerry & Harvey, the first nephew of my mother, Denise. Consequently, he became the eternal patriarch of the children to follow. His birth was celebrated in every sense of the word. Our family could simply not get enough of him. Anything and everything he did was amazing. His first smile…his first words…his first steps…you name it…word of these milestones spread through the family as if no other child had every accomplished so much! He was truly celebrated.

As children, Nick and I were inseparable. We were fortunate to spend as much time together as we did. Although much of Nick’s childhood was spent out of state, we still managed to spend every school break and summer together. Our grandparents took us on numerous vacations to Disney World and Myrtle Beach. We were truly blessed. They never missed an opportunity to keep us together. Although we are biologically first cousins, we both always agreed that we were more like brother and sister. For that, I will forever be grateful.

There are many words that can be used to describe Nick. I will mention a few, but focus mainly on one. He was smart, handsome, absolutely hilarious, talented beyond words, kind, sensitive, protective, and always there when I needed him. Sometimes, he was even there when I didn’t need him. Let me share a couple stories about his “insistence” and sometimes “obsession” towards be my protector.

As it happens, it was Nick’s friend, Hamilton, from South Carolina with whom I shared my first kiss. They came to Indiana together on Nick’s spring break. Keep in mind, this boy was three years older than me… and definitely had many kisses under his belt. Not to mention, he was Nick’s best friend. Hamilton & I thought we were alone on my grandparent’s front porch, but we definitely were not. Nick was strategically on the other side of the window, hiding, watching every move Hamilton was about to make. Well, Hamilton swooped in for the kiss, very confidently. I, on the other hand, was terrified. The technique of kissing, although somewhat mastered by Hamilton, was definitely new territory for me. Much to my embarrassment, Nick later told the entire family the step-by-step disaster of the kiss. He and Hamilton, loved to imitate my closed eyes, tightly pursed lips, and head-over-heels infatuation with what I thought was my first true love. Let’s just put it this way…It was good for me…but not so good for Hamilton. We never kissed again.

That was just the beginning of Nick making sure that he was on top of and totally informed of any romantic relationship in my life. A few years later, I was in Myrtle Beach with my family and life-long friend, Melissa Latta. Like most teenage girls, we were on the prowl all week. I had my eye on one boy in particular. His name was Joey. Finally, 2-3 days into the trip, Joey noticed me. However, he got a little too romantic for my comfort zone. So, what did I do? Well… I called Nick. He had programmed me at an very early age to call him if I ever needed him. In fact, he programmed me so well that I still remember his SC phone number today: 803-478-7460. I can still dial it in my sleep. I told him that Joey had made me uncomfortable. That’s all it took. Nick was living in Summerton, SC, about two hours away from Myrtle Beach. However, one hour later he arrived in our hotel parking lot. I’m not exactly sure what words were exchanged between Nick and Joey that day, but I am certain that Joey did NOT get within 100 feet of me for the remainder of the vacation. Nick sure had a lasting effect on people. As it turned out, Joey and his family, and my family, continued to vacation the same week at the same hotel for the following three summers. Nick or no Nick, Joey kept a safe and overly respectful distance, never looking at or speaking to me again!

You might assume that Nick’s protective nature towards me would lessen as the years went on. If anything…it got stronger. Any guy I dated had to answer to Nick…some of you are sitting out there today. I won’t ask for a show of hands, but you know who you are. Nick was always in my background, ready and able to appear at any time I needed him. He actually developed lifelong friendships with most of my guy friends, as well as my husband, Jason. But, one thing is for sure, they all experienced Nick’s initial critique and ongoing scrutiny.

In many ways, Nick has always been my guardian angel. And, I hold on to the belief that he will always be beside me. I hope we can all feel the comfort of his presence in the days and years to come. I know, without a doubt, that Nick will continue to influence my life. After all, Nick was truly one of a kind. He taught us all how to live life to it’s fullest, not to worry about yesterday, or for that matter… the consequences of today,…but rather to live in the moment.

I would like to speak briefly about another endearing quality that we have all seen in Nick. He absolutely lived to create scenarios that would result in total shock and awe. Inevitably, these scenarios would render his audience speechless for a moment…shocked that someone could even think of doing such things…and in total awe that a person would actually have the nerve to pull it off. I am sure that those speaking today will share, in detail, some of the shock and awe effects that Nick so effortlessly pulled off.

I want to share a poem with you. It is titled…How He Lived His Dash. I think you will agree with me. Nick got it. He truly lived “his dash” to the fullest extent possible.

How He Lived His Dash…

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates in his obituary,

From the beginning …

To the end.

He noted that first came the date of his birth,

And spoke of the following date with tears,

But, he said what matters most of all…

Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That he spent alive on Earth.

Now only those who loved him,

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own…

The cars…

The house…

The cash…

What matters is how we live and love,

And how we spend our “dash”.

So, think about that long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For we never know how much time is left…

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down long enough,

To consider what is true and real…

And always try to understand

The way other people feel…

And be less quick to anger…

And show appreciation more…

And love the people in our lives…

Like we’ve never loved before…

If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile,

Remember that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So, when YOUR EULOGY is being read,

With your life’s actions to rehash…

Would you be proud of the things they say…

About how you lived your dash?

I could go on-and-on about memories of Nick! I think you get the idea... he was very special to our entire family.

That's enough for today. Updates from May & June to come at a later date.